ukhwah syabab

Friday, June 26, 2015

When Death Comes

The title itself gives you an idea what I'm planning to talk about

Recently, I've been surrounded by the "death news" 
However, in most of the news, there's only one that really strike my heart like really deep within 
I can feel my heart literally being poked by the needle and trust me it really hurt 
Err, I guess I'm over exaggerating the feeling, but yeah you'll get the point right?
Straight to the point, it was about the death of one of my classmates, from the same class and I know him in person 
Masha Allah, he is one of the patience men, in spite of having some of his friends that really like to tease him, but yeah he okay with it. Hat off!

He has just gone like that *boom!
I know he was sick, but the last conversation I had with him, 
He was getting better, yet two weeks later 
I received news he has left us FOREVER
You know what is the most saddest part? 
I was thinking about at THAT moment was IF I WAS HIM, AM I READY FOR IT?

I am quite aware as a Muslim, we believed with Qada' and Qadr 
The life and the death etc. 
Yet that moment, causing me till today wonder around and monolog what am I suppose to do with my life? 
 I've been thinking a lot.. I mean like A LOT.... 
Sometimes I wonder what if like Now... this moment, I close my eyes and I was pronounced dead
What happen next?  
Yes, I'm going to leave everyone, my soul will leave my body 
And just to think about it cause my tears drop!

I realize that I'm not ready for it 
I realize that I've been spending so much time ALONE that I forgot that one day I'm going to end my life ALONE, no one is going to be there with me! 
No one's is going to hold my hand and show me to the next world 
NO ONE!!! And it's scary! 
Sometimes you wonder you've been created in this world ALONE to monitor about yourself
Surrounding you is just a tool and responding variables to see how you react to this world 
At that particular time, I know that my deeds are so small that if I throw it into the ocean, the ocean will not going to move and wavy.

Again, if you read this, don't lose faith 
Don't dare to kill yourself 
Let the death comes to you at the right time  
Yeah, I know life can be challenging, but leaving alone? 
Trust me, it's is going to be the last thing you've ever wanted to do 
Take my words from the guy who used to think that living alone is heaven!

SINS.DEATH.GRAVE.HEREAFTER
FOUR WORDS READ IT AND DESTROY OUR EGO




Saturday, June 20, 2015

I'm Back! For now...

Last update... September 15, 2013.

Today.. 20 June 2015... 3 Ramadhan 1436H

Masha Allah, it has been more than 2 years. How time flies!

Somehow you're wondering what have you achieved in your life?

How could you tell that you deserved for whatever it worth?

Enough with the philosophy, haha

Alhamdulillah selamat bergelar graduan kesihatan persekitaran pada September 2014, namun bekerja dalam sektor perbankan yang ternyata 360 darjah larinya. Diri ini pun terkejut mengimbau kembali bagaimana kehidupan boleh jadi terlalu luar jangka. Hasratnya mahu berkhidmat menjadi Pegawai Kesihatan Persekitaran, tetapi market bidang ini di Malaysia ini hanya mampu menggenggam segulung ijazah sahaja ataupun meneruskan ke peringkat lebih tinggi dan menjadi Lecturer. Bukan sebab tiada kerja, satu-satunya skop yang betul-betul menepati bidang ini hanyalah dalam Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia dan Majlis kesihatan di peringkat Negeri. Jadi boleh nampak la bukan senang untuk menempatkan tapak di dalam industri ini. Kerjaya dalam bidang perbankan pun tidak tahan lama, ternyata hidup di dalam office yang penuh dengan drama dan samarinda tidak sebati dengan jiwa ini. Memilih untuk resign selepas 9 bulan ibaratnya menunggu bayi baru lahir walaupon pada mulanya mendapat tentangan daripada pihak keluarga, teman terdekat dan rakan sekerja. Alhamdulillah masing-masing percaya dengan prinsip yang aku letakkan, dan sekarang aku masih mencari matlamat hidup. Jika mampu aku ceritakan apa yang berlaku dalam tempoh dua hingga tiga tahun ini, masha Allah mungkin boleh buat satu novel agaknya. Jalan cerita hidup aku mungkin tidaklah menarik mana namun sedikit sebanyak membuatkan aku banyak belajar tentang hidup. Pejam celik tahun hadapan usiaku Jubli perak. Masih tertanya sehingga hari ini, Apakah yang telah aku capai dalam hidup ini?

Have you ever come across
When you click the "Pause" button in your life
All you want to do is change your current state
But it feels so blank
That you no longer believed that you can make the right choice about it? 
You sit in the empty box convinced yourself that you did made the right call
Yet you're freezing to make the next move?
You got the concept but don't know where to began?
Or maybe you just don't know where to when to what?
-Dilema tanam anggur-

macam2 iklan